The nature of ministry is such that I've missed a lot of family gatherings. They are usually on Saturday nights -- I turn into a pumpkin on Saturday nights. Also, I live some distance from my family, so if special events are on the weekends, it just doesn't work.
At this stage in my ministry, I'm fortunate to have two wonderful colleagues on the Glebe-St. James ministry team. Although my major responsibility is worship, I was able to arrange to go to a family wedding, and Anne and George were able to lead worship.
This meant that I was able to be with my family and see my niece married. It's hard to describe how important family is to me. I have five sisters and three brothers. I was able to see all five sisters and one of my brothers. Two brothers weren't able to attend.
I think I spent the whole weekend talking and asking about my sisters' families. (My brother is a bachelor with no children.) My Mom and Dad were also there and I just don't know what it is, but I always feel more myself when I'm with them. It's like the "real" me has a chance to shine and I feel safe and secure. This weekend was a great way to recharge my batteries because it's not all about the church and plans for the future. Being with family is about the here and now, being present and accounted for.
I didn't always love everyone in my family. There were always lots of mixed emotions -- childhood fights, teenage misunderstandings, adult hurts. At certain times, I didn't real care to be with them all that much. But now, as I grow older and see all my nieces and nephews growing up, the depth of my love gets stronger all the time.
This is the most amazing gift and one learns to appreciate it more and more. I think it's good to be away from the parish sometimes so that one can get a perspective on these most important things in life. It's not that faith and the church aren't important, it's just that it's also important to re-connect with the people in your life who have been with you from the earliest days of memory.
There's always something happening in a big family. My niece is on an agricultural exchange in Columbia. My other niece is on the verge of having her second child. My son is getting married in May and another niece is being married in October. James and I both celebrate our 50th birthdays this year AND our 25th wedding anniversary. One niece has just been accepted into a nursing program. One nephew has decided to become a paramedic. And the list goes on and on....
Faith teaches us that our families are important -- all the connections that bind us together help to form us. God gave us these families and they teach us how to treat everyone as we would treat family.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Thankful for George
Greta Empey's funeral was today at 11 a.m. George Clifford led the service with me helping out. Greta had no children but was extremely close to her great-nephew. As someone who comes from such a large family, it always astounds me when families can be so small. It's not good or bad, it's just different.
In this case, her role as an aunt transformed itself into the role of surrogate mother. Without the presence of his biological mother, Kevin came to rely on the love of Greta. What a gift for both of them -- a boy without a mother finds a great-aunt without a child. Sometimes life calls on us to be special to others in ways we never expected. This was obviously a special relationship and one to be celebrated.
George did a good job of expressing this reality and of leading a meaningful service. As minister of visitation, he provides pastoral care to many of our parishioners. I am so thankful for his ministry. Officially retired, I appreciate all the years of experience that he's had. In ministry, experience means a great deal. He's a solid rock to lean on.
In this case, her role as an aunt transformed itself into the role of surrogate mother. Without the presence of his biological mother, Kevin came to rely on the love of Greta. What a gift for both of them -- a boy without a mother finds a great-aunt without a child. Sometimes life calls on us to be special to others in ways we never expected. This was obviously a special relationship and one to be celebrated.
George did a good job of expressing this reality and of leading a meaningful service. As minister of visitation, he provides pastoral care to many of our parishioners. I am so thankful for his ministry. Officially retired, I appreciate all the years of experience that he's had. In ministry, experience means a great deal. He's a solid rock to lean on.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Chain of events and encounters
One thing that's always really amazing to me is how people come into your life and change it dramatically. I met an amazing woman through a class I was helping to teach and she and I have developed a relationship which is very deep. We have discussions about death and life and letting go and looking back over our lives. Sometimes it's really hard to make sense of life at all. Yet, by talking, and reflecting, it gets easier. You never really reach your destination, but somehow your lens gets a little less foggy. This is one of the great gifts of ministry. You get a chance to see your own life in perspective because every time you talk with another person your own life is the measure by which you see the world.
It's not about being self-centered. It's just that life experiences shape who we are. We are all the events of the past and so you can't really separate yourself from them.
Later in the afternoon, I met with a young couple about their wedding service. As Valentine's approaches, it makes one ponder about the meaning of love. This couple seemed to be love personified and their wedding service is SO important to them. It reminded me of my responsibility to ensure a meaningful ceremony. Sometimes I get kind of grumpy when it comes to weddings -- at one time they were my least favourite thing to do. I guess I always felt that I was extraneous to the whole enterprise and so felt like I was being "used."
In the past couple of years, however, I've experienced a change (either in myself or the couples I deal with.) There's been a deepening desire for a wedding service that really reflects the couple and their hopes for the future. This is the kind of thing that I love being a part of. When I feel that a couple are not just going through the motions, but are sincerely seeking a wonderful day, I really enjoy it and want to be part of the celebration. Our intentions make just a difference, don't they? When we seek a deep experience, we can often get want we seek. If we don't seek a deep experience, it ends up being shallow and very unsatisfying. The former is so powerful and I'd walk a mile for anyone who really wants to explore the depths of any kind of religious worship.
It's not about being self-centered. It's just that life experiences shape who we are. We are all the events of the past and so you can't really separate yourself from them.
Later in the afternoon, I met with a young couple about their wedding service. As Valentine's approaches, it makes one ponder about the meaning of love. This couple seemed to be love personified and their wedding service is SO important to them. It reminded me of my responsibility to ensure a meaningful ceremony. Sometimes I get kind of grumpy when it comes to weddings -- at one time they were my least favourite thing to do. I guess I always felt that I was extraneous to the whole enterprise and so felt like I was being "used."
In the past couple of years, however, I've experienced a change (either in myself or the couples I deal with.) There's been a deepening desire for a wedding service that really reflects the couple and their hopes for the future. This is the kind of thing that I love being a part of. When I feel that a couple are not just going through the motions, but are sincerely seeking a wonderful day, I really enjoy it and want to be part of the celebration. Our intentions make just a difference, don't they? When we seek a deep experience, we can often get want we seek. If we don't seek a deep experience, it ends up being shallow and very unsatisfying. The former is so powerful and I'd walk a mile for anyone who really wants to explore the depths of any kind of religious worship.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Sunday Night
It's amazing when someone initiates an idea and it just seems to be the right time. After worship today, we watched a video about the Affirm process of the United Church of Canada. It featured three congregations that had become "Affirming." This means they have a policy of total acceptance, including gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgendered persons. It also means looking hard at other issues like racism, ableism, classism and any other barriers that prevent people from being welcome in our church.
What touched me about our discussion was the openness with which members shared their experiences and viewpoints. It was touching to hear personal stories even when it included a bit of pain. I felt the spirit so strongly among us it was almost tangible.
These moments are few and far between in ministry and so when they happen you cherish them. What I'm really proud of is the fact that this idea was not driven by me. I've been able to watch and listen to leaders in the congregation who have been willing to stand up and speak out against injustice. It's so much better when it grows organically from out of the community.
What touched me about our discussion was the openness with which members shared their experiences and viewpoints. It was touching to hear personal stories even when it included a bit of pain. I felt the spirit so strongly among us it was almost tangible.
These moments are few and far between in ministry and so when they happen you cherish them. What I'm really proud of is the fact that this idea was not driven by me. I've been able to watch and listen to leaders in the congregation who have been willing to stand up and speak out against injustice. It's so much better when it grows organically from out of the community.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Wednesday's Wisdom
I had the pleasure of a spontaneous lunch today. Robert Palmai and I went to Flippers on Bank Street. We sat at the window seat and looked down on Bank Street. What a great neighbourhood!!
Lunch included lots of discussion about the church, families and some exciting ideas for the future. It's great that, as colleagues, we're able to spark off of each other.
In the afternoon, I had a pastoral visit, followed by work on the computer. I can't imagine NOT having a computer and being able to communicate with a lot of people by e-mail. E-mails, working on a brochure, working on a poster, pulling up an old file.
In the evening, I hosted our first learning event with George Hermanson. He's a friend, mentor and colleague who has a depth of knowledge about process theology. We had 16 people attend and it was a great group. Lot of good discussion...a few raised eyebrows at new and different terms...history of philosophy...metaphysics...science and religion....Alfred N. Whitehead...
It's great to always be learning and challenging ourselves. His presentation reminded me of how our worldviews really affect the way we are and the decisions that we make. I even see this with my children -- how their worldviews are different from mine. Yet, my worldview shapes them and their worldview shapes me. As George says, we live in a relational world and are constantly being changed by the events of our lives. Yet, some worldviews can be very negative especially when one person believes that they are the centre of the universe and that everyone revolves around them. Another negative worldview is that humans are the centre of the earth and that everything was made to be used and consumed by humans. This is very destructive, as we've seen around the globe.
Ahhhh, life is so complicated sometimes...and yet, it's great to be able to ponder on these things.
Lunch included lots of discussion about the church, families and some exciting ideas for the future. It's great that, as colleagues, we're able to spark off of each other.
In the afternoon, I had a pastoral visit, followed by work on the computer. I can't imagine NOT having a computer and being able to communicate with a lot of people by e-mail. E-mails, working on a brochure, working on a poster, pulling up an old file.
In the evening, I hosted our first learning event with George Hermanson. He's a friend, mentor and colleague who has a depth of knowledge about process theology. We had 16 people attend and it was a great group. Lot of good discussion...a few raised eyebrows at new and different terms...history of philosophy...metaphysics...science and religion....Alfred N. Whitehead...
It's great to always be learning and challenging ourselves. His presentation reminded me of how our worldviews really affect the way we are and the decisions that we make. I even see this with my children -- how their worldviews are different from mine. Yet, my worldview shapes them and their worldview shapes me. As George says, we live in a relational world and are constantly being changed by the events of our lives. Yet, some worldviews can be very negative especially when one person believes that they are the centre of the universe and that everyone revolves around them. Another negative worldview is that humans are the centre of the earth and that everything was made to be used and consumed by humans. This is very destructive, as we've seen around the globe.
Ahhhh, life is so complicated sometimes...and yet, it's great to be able to ponder on these things.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Tuesday that's not a Wednesday
All day I kept thinking that today was Wednesday. Why did I keep making that leap in my head? All I can say is I had a BUSY day.
Meeting at 11 a.m. Meeting at noon. Meeting at 2:30 p.m. Meeting at 5:30 p.m.
One of my calls this morning was from Linda Hamon, the church administrator from my former church, Roxboro United Church. It was so great to hear her voice. She moved from Montreal to near Perth, but I haven't seen all that much of her recently. She was a fantastic administrator and committed Christian.
One of my jobs on Tuesdays is preparation of the Glebe-St. James Update. It really helps me to get a sense of what's happening every week in our church and who's doing what. It takes a lot of people to do all the work around this building.
At about 5:30 p.m. a group of young girls were running around the halls screaming and laughing. They had just gotten out of their Mixed Media Art Class. So much energy!! So much excitement!! It's one of the bonuses of working around children. You hope and pray that some of that energy rubs off.
Meeting at 11 a.m. Meeting at noon. Meeting at 2:30 p.m. Meeting at 5:30 p.m.
One of my calls this morning was from Linda Hamon, the church administrator from my former church, Roxboro United Church. It was so great to hear her voice. She moved from Montreal to near Perth, but I haven't seen all that much of her recently. She was a fantastic administrator and committed Christian.
One of my jobs on Tuesdays is preparation of the Glebe-St. James Update. It really helps me to get a sense of what's happening every week in our church and who's doing what. It takes a lot of people to do all the work around this building.
At about 5:30 p.m. a group of young girls were running around the halls screaming and laughing. They had just gotten out of their Mixed Media Art Class. So much energy!! So much excitement!! It's one of the bonuses of working around children. You hope and pray that some of that energy rubs off.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Monday -- In Memoriam
The first thing I do on Mondays is TIDY my office. I don't know how so much JUNK gets into my space. But, it's also papers that I haven't had time to file, or projects that I'm working on.
Today's been sad for me. The fellow who shoveled our walkways, Chris Bowles, died on Jan. 20. I can't quite believe that quiet, intelligent, white-haired Chris is gone. He has a bit of history with GSJ, most of which I don't know, but he was always proud that his family were some of the first parishioners at Dominion United Church, now part of Dominion-Chalmers United Church.
Last fall, he needed a particular kind of shovel and so he arranged with Don Yeomans to go to Canadian Tire and get the shovel. He was very diligent and was concerned about our accessible walkway because it was often covered with ice.
I would see Chris walking down the street. He was usually alone. He knew quite a bit about the history of Ottawa and I think he had a lot to offer. I didn't find out that he had died until Jan. 30 and I feel distressed about that. I wish that we could have been there for him in his final days. Perhaps it's because he has a small family and they didn't realize the connection to the church. Rest in peace, Chris. We'll miss your gentle presence around the church.
Today's been sad for me. The fellow who shoveled our walkways, Chris Bowles, died on Jan. 20. I can't quite believe that quiet, intelligent, white-haired Chris is gone. He has a bit of history with GSJ, most of which I don't know, but he was always proud that his family were some of the first parishioners at Dominion United Church, now part of Dominion-Chalmers United Church.
Last fall, he needed a particular kind of shovel and so he arranged with Don Yeomans to go to Canadian Tire and get the shovel. He was very diligent and was concerned about our accessible walkway because it was often covered with ice.
I would see Chris walking down the street. He was usually alone. He knew quite a bit about the history of Ottawa and I think he had a lot to offer. I didn't find out that he had died until Jan. 30 and I feel distressed about that. I wish that we could have been there for him in his final days. Perhaps it's because he has a small family and they didn't realize the connection to the church. Rest in peace, Chris. We'll miss your gentle presence around the church.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)